Monday, March 15, 2010

My Dad

A year ago today my dad took his last breaths. He left this world, and all the pain that his body and mind had experienced, behind. You are never prepared to say goodbye to someone you love and I can’t even describe how I missed him instantly. I remember the second I found out he was no longer with us, I just wanted to hear his voice again.  I was his little ‘pumpkin’, ‘punky’, or ‘punk’ and I would never again get to hear him call me those delightful nicknames.  He never missed the opportunity to tell me that he loved me and that he was proud of me. I can still hear him say those words to me when I am feeling blue.  There are times that I feel his presence so profoundly, that I look around the room to try and see him.

It is hard to lose someone you love.

 My dad was extraordinarily talented. He could sit down at a piano and start playing the most enchanting song that he had written in his head. He loved to write poetry, play the guitar, paint, draw, tell stories and even cross-stitch.

He made this and gave it to me for Emma's baby shower. . .

Looking back on my dad’s life it seemed so contradictory. He was able to read Hebrew and do crossword puzzles at the snap of a finger, yet his favorite movies were low budget, mindless sci-fi flicks. I believe he truly loved and respected God, yet he battled fiercely with Him. He was charismatic and every where he went people loved him, yet introverted and had few close friends. My dad’s weakness was definitely his sweet tooth, yet he was a diabetic.  There will never be anyone quite like my dad. He was a unique man with so many interesting layers to uncover.
 To celebrate his life we took the girls to the beach yesterday. My dad loved the ocean, the mountains and really anything in nature.  

We also wrote messages for him on balloons, and sent them flying high into the sky.

Anytime the girls get a balloon that immediately send it up, up, up into the sky to Papa. We envision him up in heaven catching all these balloons, and are convinced that he will greet us with a balloon bouquet someday when we are finally reunited. My sweet little Chloe talks about him without restraint, she is not sad that he’s no longer here, but more thrilled that she got to know him before he had to go.  I am so glad that Emma and Chloe had the opportunity to make memories with him, even if it were for a short while.  My heart goes to a sad place when I think about how Alyssa will  never know him. I confided this to my mom the other day and she believes that my dad got to meet Alyssa in heaven before she was born.  I think she is right!

Now that my dad is gone I feel like he has manifested himself into my life in unique little ways. I feel close to him when I am writing. I sense his musical talent in my girls. I get a silly grin when I see an Oreo cookie.  And I can’t listen to Beatles song without thinking of his smile.  I really do miss my dad, and the funny thing is I miss things I didn’t even know I would miss.
I love you dad!!  We all miss you so much!!


brayboymom said...

That was sweet and beautiful, Mist...what a wonderful daughter you are! What more could a parent ask for...

Julie said...

Could barely get through that! He was a sweet man who put up with us girls in his house many times! I remember seeing him cross stitching & thinking that is only man I have ever seen do that! I love the thought of Alyssa meeting him before she got here! Your mom always knows the right things to say. My boys too like to send up balloons to Papa! Mason speaks of my dad all the time too. My heart aches that Mark will never know my dad or really even Michael the way Mason did. I too, feel so many of the same emotions you do. You are not alone! I love you friend!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely profound. You are a excellent writer, and did him so much justice by writing this. You put into words exactly what I was thinking. Thanks Mist. He will be forever missed and loved. God Bless.

Jill said...

Absolutely perfectly said! Papa Amon now has a great view to watch your girls grow and to watch you be an amazing a great collection of balloons that I am sure will continue to grow as well! Love you!

Anonymous said...

I love you did your dad proud. Absolutely perfect. I know he is looking down from above and smiling at what a wonderful daughter you are...

Janice Amon said...

This is the sweetest tribute a daughter could ever give to her dad. It makes me proud that you have inherited his talent in writing. Now you are touching others through this beautiful talent.

When I think of Roger, I think of a quote from a poem by Robert Frost, "I took the road less traveled". Roger did just that. Truly, he marched to the beat of his own drum. He was never a follower but a leader. He dared to be different in all that he did.

You, Punkie and Jeremy were loved dearly by Roger. He never failed to tell others how proud he was of his children. As you age, keeping your memories of him alive by sharing his life and stories of him with your girls will keep Roger forever near.


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