Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Little "Kindee"

It's official, we have a kindergartener in our household!

Emma has made the big transition into grade school and I can't even begin to describe all the emotions that went into dropping her off for her first 'real' day of school. 

There has actually been two "first days" this week; yesterday was the first day of school for her elementary school and kindergarten orientation for us.  Yesterday morning, the whole house was awake by 6:30 am and buzzing with excitement as we got Emma ready for her first day.  I was a bundle of nerves, I couldn't even eat breakfast.  I was anticipating all the things she was going to experience in this upcoming year.  All the memories she would make and all the things that she would learn.  The parents got to stay and listen to the teacher talk about classroom procedures her expectations of the year, while the students got acquainted with their new classmates on the playground. 

Emma wasn't nervous, not one little bit!  She walked right into her new classroom and, in true Emma fashion, owned it!  She was introducing herself to other kids and talking to their parents, she was beaming with excitement.  This was the day that Emma had been looking forward to for a very, very long time!  After the orientation, we got to take our kiddos back home with us.  My little Emma was walking tall and talking a mile a minute.  She was officially a Kindergartener!

Today was the first 'real' day of kindergarten!  I woke up to a little voice at 6:15 am whispering "Today is my first REAL day of kindergarten!"  So up we got to start the day.  My emotions were completely different today.  I felt like crying all morning, but knew I couldn't, so instead I was a bit uptight (I'm sure Hamid would be happy to tell you all about that!).  We had more of a routine this morning:  breakfast, brush teeth, do hair, get dressed and then watch one cartoon.  The whole family piled he car to see Emma's class and see her off to school.  I had to keep swallowing hard and reminding myself not to cry. 

Emma buzzed around her classroom and then off to the playground.  She confidently hugged us goodbye and the bell rang.  We watched her walk into her classroom and then she ran out again to give us one final hug.  We walked her back inside, got her situated, and then we left her there.  I made it to the edge of the black top when the tears started pouring from my eyes.  I felt like a sprinker, the more I tears I wiped from my cheeks, the spilled out of my eyes.  I couldn't stop them, as much as I tried. 

Emma is the one who MADE me a mommy, she's my first-born, my 'bigg-in'.  When she came along my career changed.  I was no longer identified as Mrs. Sedehi, teaching a classroom of special needs children, running IEP meetings and overseeing classroom aides.  I went from bringing home a nice paycheck to working twice as hard for free!  I became a full-time stay-at-home mommy.  No doubt, there have been days when I wanted to pull out every single hair on my head, and yes there were even days when I ended up having bigger temper tantrums than my children, but there have definitely been more days of laughter, love and memories than I could have ever imagined.  Now this little life that I have protected and fostered for the last five years has made her first "big" transition. She finished the first chapter in her book, and she did it with grace and excitement, and although I was spilling over with pride and joy, there was a little sadness in my heart too.

(my camera is obviously still on the fritz!)

I have to trust that all the love and goodness that I poured into her up until now, will thrive as she now has to make decisions without me there.  She'll have to work out friendships and decide between good and bad choices without mommy looking over her shoulder.  I also I know that from here on out there will be times when mommy is not to be the main attraction.  My role will be to cheer from the sidelines every once in awhile, and allow teachers, coaches and mentors to do their job in influencing Emma's life.  And yes, I have no doubt that she will still need me, but she will also need them.  I realize that a good mommy shouldn't do it all, instead we have to share our little loves with the world and watch them grow.  

But let's not forget, I still have two little cherubs at home that still expect a lot out of this mommy!!!  And now that the tears have been shed, I can say that I am truly excited for this new season in our lives. . . LET THE FUN BEGIN!!!! 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You made me cry reading this! Glad she loves school, and I don't know any mom that hasn't cried on that first day of kinder!

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